I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
