How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize