glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
