Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize