Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
