she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
