I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
should my penis look like a turkey
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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