Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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