Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
