She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
