We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
