just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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