Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
