Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
