Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
