And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
