So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
