I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
