GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize