Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
