What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize