please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
