She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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