She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
