I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
