why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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