they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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