Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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