Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
