is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
