i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
