i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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