Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
