Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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