So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
