Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize