Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
