Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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