HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
