Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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