they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize