You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
