You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
