Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
