I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
