Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
