its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
