I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
