just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He passed out mid-signature
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
