so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
