now i know why i became what i already was.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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