I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
