Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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