I got chris browned last night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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