We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize