Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
