I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
