you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
