I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
