Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
