i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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