What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
