The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
