You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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